Look, I’m trying to do this blogging thing and it doesn’t stick. I fantasize of blogging once a day, I dream of blogging once a week, but I’d settle for even writing for once a month and even that doesn’t work.
What am I going to do?
Have no idea.
In the beginning it was easier since WordPress kept reminded me to write but now I’m so out of it.
I’ve been through so much since the last time I wrote, and the cosmos knows how badly I need writing in my life right now, but having mental problems plus some nice focus problem doesn’t exactly help with making it a doable task.
I wanna write. To someone. To myself. I’m desperate for catharsis.
Despite self cultivation, therapy, and putting down at last, countless of heavy toxic cargo that I had to put down cause it was getting heavier and I got lighter. It’s no use for me anymore.
Yes I hurt, yes I lived years with abusive family but my pain is finally validated I don’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore. I was there- it was true. I don’t need more than that.
It hurt to the bones my own family, my parents, MY MOTHER doesn’t see me, doesn’t see who I am, doesn’t see my magic, my value. I think it’ll always hurt, so knowing that makes it easier to keep going or get distracted with better feeling, better people who see my light.
Maybe I’ll write more if I won’t edit.
If I write anything that just comes up, even if it’s one word, I think it’s better than remembering to write once 6 months…..
Hope you to me soon.
Hang in there you.