Heena!

Event finally over.
With all the joy, beauty, and happiness. I’m glad it’s over and behind me.
Thanking god for my blessing, for the people who made it possible, and that it went smoothly without worries ahead. Just moving on with my life (:
To the next good thing.

Mikveh. So glad I didn’t elope to Finland just so I could get to experience this.
The traditional jewish ritual immersion, for the new bride. The night before the wedding. I waited for this, more for the wedding itself, which is a week from now if everything goes according to plan. 

Realized I have all the results to my tests back and I should go back to my doctor, trying to not deal with it like the hypochondriac that I am, and just go and trust the doctor to do her job. *exhaling*

Excited. 

Gonna have The Kid all to myself. He’s….a new word.
He’s my home.

I love him so much, in all my experiences did I ever begin to imagine I’d end up with someone as incredibly otherworldly, sensitive, gentle, free fragile spirit…and he loves ME!

I”M SO LUCKY!

LOVE,
Till the next time, 
Natanela

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Taaaa!

Sick.5 days from the event before the big day.
Allergies.
To something in the air, 
To people who suck the air out of me.

Glad I’m in my house., in my room, Away from that toxic.

Vitamin C, hot cocoa, and looking online for natural ways to treat allergies (if there’s something)

Be good.

Phew.

It’s been hell of two weeks.
Never felt more adult in my life. So much to do, so many bureaucratic work.

I write cause one day, hopefully not far enough, I will be living with The Kid and we’ll do our routines. Reading books knitting and playing video games. I fantasize about these days.

I don’t have it in me. I am not driven by stress by more and more meetings and stuff to get done. I can’t believe there are people out there who spent their entire lives like that. I don’t consider this living.

I’m alive when I can breath. Yeah, breathing is an unconscious process controlled by the autonomic nervous system, you can’t do anything about that. But I mean, Breathing! http://www.sounds.beachware.com/2illionzayp3may/wlvwsikf/BIGBRETH.mp3. Wether your watching an episodes of a new favorite show or reading. Just sitting, relaxed, knowing you don’t have anything planned for today, and for a moment, even a nervous wreck like me, can live without a care in the world!

I can’t believe people enjoy this, I feel sorry for them. Letting life pass them by.

So, we’re so close to be bound together, forever. Few more weeks of sleep free, stress, social anxiety, and that’s it. 
I love him, and when I look at him, everyday, I know that I don’t have one doubt in my mind we’re good together and we’re going to be happy. He’s the best, and my favorite risk I will choose everyday to take.

Hopefully, next time I’ll come here, we’ll be married already, or on our way,
Till then,
Good afternoon, good evening, and good night ❤