*Hesitantly* Hey

I’m here.

Who am I?
I’m in love, I’m cold. I have one fresh cat scratch and 3 healing ones. I currently eat cheese and chocolate.
I think about kids, I think about Finland. 

I am usually a ///…\\\nervous wreck///…\\\, but when I do manage to be happy, (which is not at all what it sounds like (=an effort; a conscious decision)) it’s usually getting caught in a moment, and in that moment I am free from every mortal burden, attached to my physical body by a fragile silk thread.

I’m struggling with writing, I need to be relaxed in order to do it, but…most of the time I am

Not.

So, I think….mmhp.

I  think I’ll experiment here with my writing, maybe if I manage to let it go, maybe I feel like nobody is reading this, nobody’s her to criticize me, maybe if I lose *my* body, maybe then, I’ll be able to write freely.
Maybe if I  stay here staring at the keyboard staring back at me, the letters so confused. Staring at the screen, innocent. Maybe if I manage to catch those illusive balloon-thoughts, maybe if I jump high enough and bust them with my sharp fingers, Maybe JUST maybe then, I’ll write like I always dreamt of writing,

For now,

I send you warm hugs
and love.

Right now, that’s all I have to give you.
You- whether a random reader or future struggling me.

“אנחנו נמצא את האוצר”

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